Recently, I’ve read more than a few opinions about the legitimacy and integrity of White, Hip-Hop artists like Iggy Azalea and Macklemore.  In all honesty, I find the subject tiresome and ridiculous; its music, either you make good songs or you don’t.  What I do find interesting is non-rapping White artists who, for whatever reason, stumbled into a pseudo-rap verse and made history.  Why do I find this interesting? I’m not sure…


You’re not Flash!

5. Blondie-‘RAPTURE’

MC Debbie Harry’s “Don’t stops” and “Sure-shots” may have been a bit labored and if I’m not mistaken, she said something about eating cars but regardless of the rough edges, ‘Blondie’s’ unmistakable Disco-rap, which name-checked old school luminaries ‘Grandmaster Flash’ and ‘Fab 5 Freddy’, officially propelled non-rapping white people into the B-boy era.  Harry’s soothing, telephone operator-like voice is one of my earliest childhood memories and probably had a subconscious influence on my career choice.

4. Charlie Daniels Band-‘DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA’

charlie daniels

Charlie Daniels putting his name on the M-I-C

An epic tale of good and evil played out via the fiddle.   Apparently, Satan himself once traveled to the American South in search of a sucker to lure into everlasting damnation.  When Beelzebub reached an unspecific location in the state of Georgia, he happened upon a hillbilly picker who accepted the devil’s challenge of a violin-off with eternal ramifications. As one of the earliest hip-hop battles proceeds to go down, Charlie Daniels describes the fury and flare of Lucifer’s defeat (‘Fire on the mountain, run boys run’) at the hands of a bow-wielding redneck who, upon seizing victory, announces, I told you once you son of a bitch, I’m the best there’s ever been”.  Sounds like rap to me.

3. Madonna-‘VOGUE’ 


Diggin’ with the Vogue crew

What can’t she do?  In 1990, America’s ‘Material girl’ busted a rhyme on the symphonic-house tip about her favorite Hollywood personae, encouraging listeners to do one of the most ridiculous dances ever created.  If I remember it correctly, one was supposed to make various shapes with their hands and move to the beat like a fashion model at a high-class photo session.  While the song was a big hit for Madonna, actual ‘Vogueing’ never caught on outside of Gay night clubs so, unsurprisingly, Hip-Hoppers shied away from the dance despite Rap culture’s penchant for posing.  Reportedly, the ‘Queen of Pop’ was infuriated when her edict “Don’t just stand there let’s get to it, strike a pose there’s nothing to it” went unheralded.

mug shot

It’s not funny to be called ‘Sue’ in prison

2. Johnny Cash-‘BOY NAMED SUE’

A classic song that offers wonderful parenting advice for young fathers who have no intention of raising their children.  In ‘A Boy Named Sue’, Johnny Cash tells the story of a soon-to-be deadbeat dad who, knowing he won’t be around to teach his son values and morals, simply names his child ‘Sue’ and assumes the young boy will mature by defending himself against bullies who beat up guys with girl-names.  In the end, an adult Sue confronts his long-lost father in a bar-fight and nearly kills him before seeing the wisdom of his dad’s decision.  A visionary, Johnny cash foresaw the violence and parental illegitimacy that would eventually plague modern hip-hop culture.


The box that rocks, pilgrim

1. Shawn Brown-‘RAPPING DUKE’

If I’m going to be totally honest, the rapper on this tune is Black but being that he did a somewhat accurate imitation of John Wayne, the Whitest man who ever lived, I contend that his performance qualifies for the list.  On the song’s second verse, ‘Duke’ establishes himself as one of the earliest Gangsta MC’s, bragging about two 6-shooters he brandished to kill 12 men who were carried by 188 pallbearers (strangely, that’s 15.6 pallbearers per coffin but I’m fairly sure this had nothing to do with the point he was attempting to make).  Over the years, the song’s “Dah-hah-hah-haaaaaa” chorus has helped ‘Rapping Duke’ become a cult classic, earning numerous shout-outs and homages from famous Hip-Hop artists, most notably ‘Notorious B.I.G.’ on his hit ‘Juicy’.  John Wayne died in 1977 but since this song was released in the mid-eighties, he has not stopped rolling over in his grave.


Bob Dylan-‘Subterranean homesick blues’
Billy Joel-‘We didn’t start the fire’
Petshop Boys-‘West end girls’
R.E.M.-‘It’s the end of the world as we know it’
Ugly Duckling-‘Meatshake’




Posted on by andycooper in RAP RELATED

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